Kevin, attached is the 3rd annual performance review of your role as vice team leader of the illiterate infant household.
Core Skills:
You have come along way in two-and-a-bit years. We note your ability to change a nappy (both kinds), pat an infant for three hours straight, defuse impending meltdowns with a highly targeted stare and anticipate the direction a scooter will zig or zag around cracks in the foot path (most of the time).
We also note that you have picked up newer skills in reading the mood of the room within seconds of returning home from work, appearing appropriately shocked (not laughing, absolutely not laughing) when you are told about your off-springs antisocial shopping center antics and how to give unique and hilarious (as observed) voices to the ever growing array of soft toys your child owns.
Score 8 out of 10
Team Development:
We note that your team has developed well with your youngest member able to explain her needs and WANTS with extreme clarity. There has been an obvious improvement in her ability to maintain a sleeping state past the 40 minute mark and we also note her excellent development from tottering to being able to both sprint and sidestep.
You have also been instrumental in initiating the new team member development project although it appears that the lead member of the team is completing the balance of the project’s work. At time of writing we are yet to understand what contribution you have made past the initial enthusiastic project kick off but expect your participation to be much greater in about 5.5 months.
Score 6 out of 10 (score upwardly adjusted from original peer score collected 7 weeks after project kickoff)
Personal Development and Growth
We are pleased with the way you have adapted to the new expectations that come with your role and you appear to have overcome your initial reluctance to set aside the small amount of dignity you thought had. We have been pleased with the way you now sing rather than mouth the words to the compulsory evening nursery rhymes and are happy to have observed you doing the “roly poly” down the hill with your youngest team member beside the farmer’s market in full view of other customers last week. We also note your willingness to spin your team member around in shopping trolleys, play hide and seek between fridges in large appliance stores and be a “horsey” walking up the street.
Score 8 out of 10
Summary
Not a bad effort this year Kevin. Although there have been a few concerning moments (eg: several dressing failures of the youngest team member, setting out on a full day outing with a water bottle and a fruit stick, the falling through the slide ladder) we can see that you are obviously trying your best and have the whole team’s best interests at heart.
You should continue to attempt to see the world through all your team member eyes and remember how lucky you are to have such an amazing team around you. It is obvious that you are thoroughly enjoying your role and we look forward to working with you more in the future.
Remuneration review
LOL ROFL LMAO
Happy Fathers Day! – What would your performance review say? What performance review would you give?
Linking up with Twinkle in the Eye, with some grace and you know it happens in your house too for the Friday Linkups and Blog Hops.
the illiterate infant 
Ah, that is really cute! And, by the way, there are THREE kinds of nappy. Number 1, Number 2 and the dreaded Number 3 – an explosive combination otherwise known as Code Brown. 😉
I like that description. Maybe they tend to happen on weekdays before 6:30pm!
I think you may have underscored yourself in “personal development and growth”. Doing the roly poly down a hill in full view of others and willingly being a horsey down the street? That’s Fathering gold!!
thanks for the uplift in score 😉
Hahaha I love this! I just emailed to my hubby I think he will get a kick out of it. 🙂
I’m with Julia, will definitely be passing this one on. Well done, great post and great progress 🙂
I love this Kevin! Great idea for a post and gave me a good chuckle!
Thanks for always popping in and checking things out. My pleasure to give chuckles..
fabulous post!!! fantastic progress!
Thanks. and thanks for stopping by
An excellent review, though nothing was said about your future excitement towards possibly expanding the team.
That excitement will have to be conveyed to the other members on a day by day basis, after assessing the mood of the house. Just a heads up there. 😉
Thankyou. I will include your input into my 2012-2013 development plan. 🙂
Ha ha. Great review. You seem to be doing a great job in the fatherhood stakes thus far. Reading the mood of the house on the arrival home from work is VERY important. My husband only got good at this after the 3rd child. You are obviously a fast learner.
Ha ha. I give bonus points for assessing the mood of the household on the return from work. It took my husband 3 children to be able to reliably use this skill. The day-long outing with only a water bottle and a fruit stick is concerning however… You definitely need a fully stocked nappy bag/ food bag even to leave the front door.
Yes – I was reminded of the need for a fully stocked nappy bag several times.
Sharing amusing parenting stories and tips about parenting: 10/10
Happy Father’s day!
oh i love this!! very amusing 😉
#teamIBOT
Hey there Lyndal – thanks for stopping by.
Awww this is so cute!! Happy Father’s Day to your family too!
Ai @ Sakura Haruka
Hey there. Thanks for coming in and happy fathers day
Very cute idea. Glad you didn’t score too highly…that would be biased! Happy father’s day on Sunday. 🙂
hi, i’m following the “tea on tuesday” blog hop. i would love for you to visit my blog and follow if you like it.
http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com
thanks
new follower bev
We’ve all done the occasional “setting out on a full day outing with a water bottle and a fruit stick”. In face, when our eldest was weaned to the bottle, we went out for a full day and didn’t pack any teats! I’ve also gone out without nappies, twice. You’ve done well! Great post!
No nappies – can only end in disaster!
Thanks for popping in
hahahaha! Clever. He scored well!
Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit
Another entertaining read! Loved it 🙂
Hey there Angela – thanks for popping by. Cheers
10/10 for blog writing! Feet up on Sunday Kevin, breakfast in bed, presents, bottle of something nice, sit back and bask in your dad glory.
Thanks for the score!! Consider me basking…
Brilliant, very funny, very funny approach.
I must say, however, I think someone is missing the corporate world!
Not so much missing corporate. More the fact I have done a LOT of performance reviews lately
Well done you. I shudder to think what my score might be some days!
It’s all about how you look the week before the review!
This is great!
(Popping over from Twinkle in the Eye.)
Thanks for popping in!
That is fantastic! I might write one for my husband and pop it in his card this Sunday!
you’ll need to decide if he gets a bonus or not…
Haha! I love this! I wrote an end of probation letter to Mr Surfer when he was on paternity leave last year. I think it’s time to repost that one…just in time for Father’s Day 🙂
awesome – i’d like to read that!
Haha I love this! If I was still with my child’s dad I would love to have done this for him!!
“…still with my child’s dad.” sounds like a performance management discussion
“you appear to have overcome your initial reluctance to set aside the small amount of dignity you thought had” This was hilarious. Nice job Dad!
Hi there, thanks for stopping by.
Dignity is offically expendable
Love it! Another gold post. Especially love the paragraph regarding your involvement and enthusiasm at the commencement of the team expansion project. I note that the Team Leader did not say your ‘5 seconds of input’, heh.
Nice. I’m surprised it has taken so long for someone to comment on my quick project delivery 😉
It sounds like you are going to get to keep your job and maybe even get a raise. You sound like a terrific dad. I only wish there was video footage of you being a horse while walking up the street. I think that really would have made my day!
I found you from the TGIF Blog Hop. Enjoyed your post!
Just wanted to stop by and say hello from the Blog Hop!
This is so wonderful! I love the “new team member development project”, hilarious!!!
So glad you linked up this week, I am so enjoying your reads!
Happy Father’s Day to you!
Hey there – thanks for popping in. And thanks for being the best promoter of daddies that I know of!
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