(slightly) sadistic parenting

Yes it’s an old photo. As if I’d have photographic evidence of the hug!

So fathers day didn’t quite go to plan. It started well, my wife put a cooked breakfast together, I got a great handmade card from my daughter (who was determined to keep “creating” the card after I had been given it), some socks (when you see the state of my socks you’ll understand why it’s a great present) and then we caught up with some family for coffee later that morning. Best of all, my wife’s dark cloud of (not so morning) sickness seems to be fading which means the mood of the house is on the improve.

My daughter however got sick. One perspective is that I may have been repaying a small karmic debt (probably from parking in those parent spots before I had kids) with my wife’s recovery coinciding with my daughters decline, however I prefer to focus on the upside. You see, yesterday my daughter wanted to give me a hug.

Now I’ve been known to exaggerate occasionally, and it’s true that I don’t mind creatively improving the facts to aid the point I am proving but last weekend really was the most physically attached my daughter has been to me – ever! It started at breakfast when she needed rescuing from the high chair, and then there was her sitting on my lap for over an hour at my brother in laws house and then there was the sitting with me on a couch through 10 episodes of the cutting social commentary that is; Peppa Pig.

To understand the significance of this you really need to appreciate my daughters typical behavior…

Enter daughters bedroom in the morning: “Morning sweety, have you got a kiss for daddy?”
“No daddy.”

Home from work: “Hi sweety, did you have a nice day?”
“Yes daddy”
“How about a kiss for daddy?”
“No thank you daddy”

On the flight to Brisbane: “hey sweet, did you want to sit on daddy’s lap and play with the iPhone/iPad/etcha sketch/empty juice container?”
“Mummy!”

To be fair, it’s not just directed at me. When my wife makes the mistake of asking for affection she is met with the same polite response of “no thank you mummy” or eel like twisting to get out of a cuddle. My wife can also be on the receiving end of my Beiber-like popularity as I walk through the door after work (some days) to be met by squeals of “Daddy’s home” before being told politely “no thank you daddy” when I ask for a cheeky peck.

In short, our daughter has never been or probably ever will be a hugging, kissing, sit quietly on the lap type of person which is why I was a little bit guilty of enjoying her sickness on the weekend, why I was guilty of enjoying her looking at me a saying “cuddle please daddy” and why I was a little bit pleased that the only thing that seemed to help her through her raging temperature was me gently patting her hair.

Don’t get me wrong, I want her to be well. The majority of my posts involve talking about the situations that arise from her 100% attack on life but it was a lovely Father’s day present to get given a cuddle I didn’t have to chase.

Linking up with Diary of a SAHM for IBOT,  Twinkle in the Eyewith some grace and you know it happens in your house too for the Friday Linkups and Blog Hops.

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44 Responses to (slightly) sadistic parenting

  1. Great post Kevin. It is lovely when they offer hugs and kisses because they want too – G has recently started saying “I love you’ and it is wonderful.

  2. mumabulous says:

    Awwwwww. That’s lovely. I’m betting your wife enjoyed it to. Hope your household is fully recovered and enjoying this wonderful first week of spring.
    Love Mumabulous

  3. I agree, that is the upside when they’re sick, the loving cuddles. Except for when you have a rather clingy child who then gets sick and as a result you have a koala hanging off you all frigging day! Hope she feels better x

  4. Zanni Arnot says:

    Oh! This is very sweet. I am glad you got your cuddle. My husband has much the same experience…”No, thanks Daddy…Mummy!” Happy Father’s Day.

  5. Don’t worry, she’ll soon figure out the whole “When Mummy says No, go to Daddy” trick and there will be cuddles galore. We had sick ones here this week too and the good thing about having two kids is that you get one each at times like these. Until Daddy goes to work and then I’m the one covered in boogers lol. Great post 🙂

  6. yvettebowyer says:

    ohh such a sweet post!! Definitely you get more cuddles when they are sick! Happy Fathers Day!!

  7. Happy Fathers Day!
    Not only did you receive but cuddles as well, your a lucky man.
    My daughter is exactly the same. She fell asleep on my husbands chest the other night, it never happens. He loved it so much that he slept on the couch with her all night just to get his cuddle quota up!

  8. My 8yo daughter has never been very affectionate. I learnt not to push but just recently she has started showing the affection. It makes it pretty special. Rachel xx

    #teamIBOT was here x

  9. Lyndal says:

    maaaw i love how polite she is about it!! lovely post

    #teamIBOT

  10. jess@diaryofasahm says:

    Don’t feel guilty! We all secretly love sick kids! Cuddles and an excuse to order takeout cause we haven’t been able to do anything all day!
    Just so long as the sickness doesn’t drag out or invade our social life 😉

  11. Am happy to hear you had a day of cuddles on Father’s Day. I hope your daughter feels better soon.

  12. I think I’ll have the song “Steal My Kisses” by Ben Harper stuck in my head for the rest of the day…

  13. Oh you sound like my husband with our 4 year old. Luckily her younger sister is way more into “tuddles” with her dad. Maybe the next bub will be your biggest fan 🙂

  14. I don’t remember my kids being agreeable at all when they were sick. They still aren’t… especially when they get man-flu.
    Sounds like you had a great Father’s Day though. 🙂

  15. Oh that is so sweet. I hope she is feeling better now. Our eldest is like that too. Cuddles and kisses are only given when she chooses to, she can’t be asked 🙂

  16. Lisa says:

    I can totally relate to this and I’m the mother. My kids love their daddy and reject me saying things like “I’m not mummy’s best friend”. I have to tell my hubby that I don’t beat them when he is away. He is away at the moment and they only have me so they have me to cuddle….I’m enjoying it while I have their attention.

  17. Yup, hearing you there! Even with my cuddly younger two, it’s a silver lining when they are sick to to able to sit on the lounge and beg out in front of the telly and have a snuggle. I hope your little girl is feeling better!

  18. Peanutlayne says:

    Cute post! I worry about my kids when they are sick, but I do like that they will actually sleep during the day when they are sick. Ooops, did I just say that out loud?

  19. kyl21z says:

    So sweet! You should get her the book Kisses for Daddy, it’s a picture book (ours is in board book format) about a little bear who won’t give his Daddy kisses until the very end. It’s very sweet and also not a bad bedtime book.

  20. Karen says:

    So true, I feel the same. With a 1 year old that can not sit still ever, when he is sick he cuddles on the couch and may possibly make it through half an episode of Play School, and I secretly enjoy it so much!!

  21. Fiona says:

    uhoh. Don’t wanna think about the bad karma for parking in the parents with prams spot!

  22. Pip says:

    Cute. See I’ve stopped giving her a choice. Seems similar to you. I get a firm ‘nup!’ When asking for a kiss. I’ve found when I take her and wrestle her to the ground and give her a big sloppy kiss in her ear it’s making her realize a little peck on the cheek when asked is actually the safer option. Nice to know other parents are going through similar. Happy fathers day.

  23. bigalittleamom says:

    I get it! My first son also was not very demonstrative, so the main times when we got to cuddle him was when he was sick!

  24. Ahh bless…I have 2 girls who are the same. They only want me when they sniff sugary substances on my person. They’ve even wrenched open my mouth in an attempt to salvage the remains of a chocolate biscuit. Otherwise, they prefer to keep me at arm’s length.

    My son, however, is a total and utter Mummy’s Boy.

  25. mamagrace71 says:

    Count yourself lucky, sickness doesn’t stop the twinlets. I think I had a small window of a month there where they would give me kisses and hugs. Now they do it for each other LOL! 🙂

  26. Kimberley M says:

    How old is your daughter? She sounds like Inky, who’s nearly 2, except I’m the one she’s cool with. “Kiss for mum?” Pause. “NO! THANKYOU! MUMMY!” It does get better – my eldest daughter who’s nearly 7 was like that at about the same age. Not at all affectionate until she hit about 4 and then, of course, the lice started. So I’m damning physical affection to all Hell now.

  27. Lonna says:

    Found you on the TGIF Hop. I saw the title of your blog and thought: THIS IS RIGHT UP MY ALLY.
    I feel your pain about your daughter preferring her Mummy these days. My 4 year old only wanted Daddy for about a year. Now, He only wants Grandma. Oh well.

  28. Enid Bite'Em says:

    Maybe try reading a book? Or looking exceptionally busy or talking on the phone?? This is apparently when I’m at my most appealing, hug-wise 🙂

  29. Oh that is adorable. I’ve been there, secretly enjoying my kids being a little under the weather when it means you get to experience the amazing feeling when all they want is you and no one else. Those cuddles that make it all better are the best.:-) Thanks for linking up with us at melting moments.

  30. Pingback: Like Fingernails down the chalk board | the illiterate infant

  31. That’s so lovely. Grab em’ when you can get em’. It’s the silver lining of caring for a sick child. You have to get something good out of it! Thanks for linking up for Flash Blog Friday 🙂

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