Miss 2.5 is indestructible. From as early as I can remember, whenever she’s hurt herself I’ve said “It’s ok sweet, dust yourself off” and she does. I’ve had strangers in parks comment on her robustness as she dongs her head on metal bars or falls from ladders. Sometimes there’s no tears at all, just hands dusting bark and leaves from clothes and she’s off again.
For a dad this is great. I never “had” to have a boy but always thought if I did, I’d have one that would love the rough and tumble. I’d have one that would follow me around the house on weekends when Daddy is fixing stuff, love a trip to the local hardware store and be able to kick a ball around. I got all of this in a bullet proof package and more. I get to have wrestles on the front lawn that turn into kiss fights where we both try to land as many on the other person as possible. I get “daddy’s home” cuddles and bedtime snuggles. For me my little girl is the perfect ratio of ingredients.
Which is going to make this week hard. This week I’m moderately shitting myself because Miss 2.5 is going to have an MRI. I’m ok with the MRI and fine with the fact that she will need a general anaesthetic to have it. The thing I’m becoming more concerned about as Wednesday draws closer is that I’m going to have to go into a white room with her, dressed in a gown, surrounded by people with face-masks and hold her steady while they put a gas mask on her face. And she’s going to look at me and be scared and I am going to have to look straight back at her and say “it’s ok sweety”.
It’s been easy to put thinking about this off with the impending birth, nesting, sorting and finishing the house but as the day approaches, I need to borrow my usually happy posting space for some emotional preparation. The preparation involves me writing down what will probably happen. By putting it down in words I can prepare my brain for the experience ahead;
- She’s going to be scared.
- She’s probably going to put a fight.
- They need the mask to stay on for about 40 seconds for the gas to work during which time her eyes are going to roll back in her head.
- She may start to shake/convulse
- She may make a snoring noise.
- She may wake up sick
- She may wake up very upset
- She may wake up scared
These are all very normal reactions – well normal for a little girl being put to sleep.
In the grand scheme of things I know am over-reacting. There are plenty of parents out there that deal with worse. That don’t get the chance to let their kids be indestructible. On a rational level I know this but this week I’m feeling a bit irrational. This week I am scared that I’m not going to be able to help miss 2.5 as much as she needs.
Have you had to go through a procedure with your little one? How did you cope? Did you cope? What when through your mind? Do I need a cup of concrete? And for the parents that deal with this and worse please don’t think I am in any way comparing my life to yours – I know how lucky I am.
Sharing with jess as essentiallyjess.com because she’s got a cracking little link up going on.